The making of a cadet.(In Real Life: First-person America)

TARKIO, MISSOURI -- It's a picture in most family scrapbooks: Dad and son at Parent's Weekend during freshman year of college, dad spreading a bit around the middle and graying at the edges, son taller and thinner, mom snapping the shot to enshrine the moment in family history. For us, there's a touch of melancholy. It's the first time we've seen Ben in his Army dress uniform. That picture made us come to grips with the commitment he's made, and the risks he has willingly chosen to face.

It only slowly dawned on us, sometime in his high school career, that Ben was an exceptional student who might not be satisfied with the state university that educated his parents, grandparents, and sisters. We encouraged his ambition, only vaguely aware of what places like Yale or the University of Chicago cost, perhaps assuming his provincial background and high school graduating class of 31 would preclude him from being accepted at those top choices. Then the acceptance letters started arriving. Yale, Rice, Northwestern, the University of Chicago, and Washington University would all take him.

But none offered financial help. In a moment of truth, we made it clear that we wouldn't mortgage the farm (literally) to send him to school. So he decided to enroll in Army ROTC.

Even in our conservative small town, that's a conversation stopper. When I tell people about the decision he's made, total silence almost always follows while people digest the news. His mom lies awake at night, and I fret that I've perhaps exposed my son to combat because I wouldn't take the financial risk that $40,000 in annual tuition would entail. Compounding my guilt is the regret, felt by many in my generation, that I myself didn't serve. Did I encourage him because I hadn't fulfilled my debt to my country? Ben can't make up for my failings, nor should he try.

But the die has now been cast. Ben settled on Washington University and is enrolled in their Texts and Traditions program. He rises three times a week at 5:30 a.m. for Army physical training, and spends his weekends running around in ...