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Byline: Daryl Lease

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, sir, I'm calling from the National Republican Congressional Committee. How are you this fine evening?"

"Just a sec. Let me finish chewing. (Pause.) OK, I'm done. I'm fair to middling, thanks. And how are you this fine evening?"

"Good, good. I'm so sorry if I interrupted your dinner, sir, but I wanted to inform you that you've just been selected Columnist of the Year."

"Really?"

"Yes, sir. The Honorable Tom Delay of Texas wanted me to call you and offer his personal congratulations --"

"Personal congratulations? But wouldn't that …