Nursery lessons. (In real life: first-person America).

PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA--I'm a man who worked in high-quality professional child care for four years. I can't really recommend it to anyone. Especially not children.

I had been working freelance and part time when my wife got pregnant, and teaching children seemed like a great alternative to chasing irregular jobs. We also thought the staff discount at an expensive child care center in Pittsburgh's East End would be a great way to pay for our own child's care--a thought we soon reconsidered.

On my first day I was told that the children would address me by my first name, to avoid the feeling of a hierarchy. They in turn should never be called "honey," "buddy," or silly nicknames. Children couldn't be put in time-out, or disciplined in any way that seemed like punishment. And one should never say, "Be quiet down there, you two" (too scary). Instead, we would go with "Some friends are having trouble listening."

The guidelines made it clear: Children at this high-priced center were under no obligation to listen to an adult. They were the autonomous customers of a neutral caregiver. Those are very different rules from the ones most of us knew in childhood. Inevitably, they will produce very different grown-ups.

Mothers (never fathers) often told me, "You have such an important job." Considering that the mothers were all dropping their kids off on the way to work, which they seemed to consider more important, it became a bad joke. The "critical" nature of day care work, I realized, was on the order of a garbage man. Yup, it's very important that the trash be picked up. Imagine if it wasn't. You might actually have to deal with it yourself. Who wants that?

It seemed to please the moms to see a man taking care of kids. Some thought their youngsters would listen better to a male voice. (They did want their kids to listen; they just didn't want them to be disciplined.) The center was a prestige "socialization" site where the children of professionals networked and competed for spots in the city's finest private schools.

Day care is bad enough as an economic necessity. As an ideology, it is insufferable. The pseudo-scientific concepts and language that buttress this service industry for children have now permeated American families. Parents now talk about themselves and other ...