Capture 'integrity moments' to feel big in your world.

When's the last time you were pumped up or felt larger than life? According to Emily Weinacker, these were probably "integrity moments"--times when your personal values, identity and external circumstances all came together effortlessly and harmoniously.

In her workshop at the 2002 NILD/AAWCC national conference in Phoenix in June, Weinacker helped participants achieve more empowering moments in their lives. She is an organizational learning employee at Maricopa Community College AZ and co-author of Integrity Moments: Making Powerful Choices in Life.

Perception

First, the women shared moments that made them feel terrific, or what Weinacker called "big." For one woman it was quitting a safe job for a new one that might be more satisfying. For another it was making and sticking to an ethical decision, knowing it was unpopular.

For another it meant breaking her tendency to "do what the boss says," (which she learned growing up in a military family), and being able to discuss her opinions, needs and desires with her superiors. Her boss had initially vetoed her becoming president of a professional association, saying she'd have less time for her job at a critical time. She diplomatically questioned his assumption, asking herself, "What is really rational here?" In a steady voice that underscored the clarity of her inner feelings, she told the boss, "I really feel strongly about it," and got approval. This was a "big" moment for her, one she wouldn't soon forget.

The example illustrates that with a little courage, women can face rejection, act outside their comfort zones and use their voices to reap tangible benefits to their professional and personal well-being.

After sharing similar stories, participants talked about moments where they felt "small." They used words like disempowerment, disappointment, shame, frustration, anger, as well as feeling let down, being sick to their stomachs, and experiencing a loss of trust.