Bigger dimensions a Royal pain.(Baseball)

If Dick Clark were a ballpark, he'd be Kauffman Stadium. As he/it gets older, the changes are hardly detectable, and he/it is as sturdy as ever. The Royals' home often is forgotten when great parks are listed, but it remains a player favorite, not to mention a broadcaster's delight, what with the bottomless bowl of M&Ms in the press room.

However, one small change, noticed on a recent trip in with the Rangers, has come to the fore. That crafty move to shove the fence back 10 feet to its original location cost the visiting Texans a half-dozen homers in a three-game series. No wonder Royals outfielder Juan Gonzalez has been "flu-ish" for home games. Poor guy: Had he stayed in Detroit, he'd have been there when the fences were moved in.

While Comerica Park already has yielded a pair of Brandon Inge grand slams this year, Kauffman Stadium's retro look has cost Gonzalez and teammate Carlos Beltran at least five home runs between them ... and it's only the beginning of May. What the Royals need to do is employ the old Frank "Trader" Lane trick: Back in 1949, when Lane was general manager of the White Sox, he would move the Comiskey Park fences in and out on a whim. Chicago infielder Floyd Baker hit his only career home run on a day the fences were yanked in, against the light-hitting Washington Senators.

Unfortunately for Lane, a rulebook amendment was drawn up in 1950--you can't move fences back and forth like groupings of American Idol contestants. So, upon further review, the Royals will have to be content with Juando and Carlos flying out to various spots on the warning track this year. But they also can rejoice in watching the Hank Blalocks of the world come up just short against their team's mediocre pitching.

On the subject of outfield wall dimensions, shouldn't Major League Baseball review its own Rule 1.04? "Any playing field constructed by a professional club after June 1, 1958, shall provide a minimum distance of 325 feet from home base to the nearest fence." Were Minute Maid Park (315 feet down the left field line), Petco Park (322 to right) and SBC Park (309 to right) all constructed during the spring of '57?

Not that I'm suggesting Pythagorean preciseness and outright uniformity. The cookie-cutter templates of the '70s made baseball appear not much ...