Is that seat taken?(Fanscape: a lifestyle guide for dedicated nonathlete)

The old Chicago Stadium is where I became a seat sneaker. I bought a Level 300 ticket for a few bucks, went to my assigned seat for the obligatory half-minute and then walked down to Level 100 and sat in an empty seat that no doubt belonged to some undeserving corporate scuzzbucket. The new stadiums, such as Chicago's United Center, were built with mini-Berlin Walls to separate fans. These days, hopping a wall is an offense easily spotted by even the oldest, most glaucoma-stricken usher.

Along with spanking children and putting real butter on popcorn, sneaking into better seats is a lost American art. But it is still possible to sneak into better seats at most sporting events. All you need is a Belichick-like game plan and the courage to follow through with it.

Dress for success. If you're going to sneak into expensive seats, look like you can afford them. That means no retro jerseys if you've never actually appeared in a rap video and, please, no knapsacks unless you're with your mommy. "It's not like it was 20 years ago," says a guy I know who used to be a United Center usher. "I've seen some of the bummiest-looking people sitting in the good seats ... but that's ...