How to talk so people will listen.(Credit Column)(Column)

At the end of ally given conversation, whether it's with co-workers, employees, or customers, do you ever find yourself asking the following questions: "How many times do I have to tell them how it's done?" "Why are there so many misunderstandings?" "Doesn't anyone ever listen to me?"

If so, you're not alone. In companies across the nation, communication breakdown is one of the main challenges managers deal with on a daily basis. As a result, they spend time restating their objectives to the same people over and over again, only to have the intended message still get altered or confused. Depending on the situation, communication breakdown can have severe consequences--everything from lost sales and profits to high employee turnover rates.

The warning signs of communication breakdown include the listener losing interest before you're finished speaking, your being unable to get the floor at meetings, and doing all the talking during a conversation when you want feedback. If any of these things routinely happen to you during conversations, your communication efforts are not effective or efficient.

Traditionally, most business leaders have spent their time attempting to change the way others listen. This is an exercise in futility because the only element in any interaction you can change is your part of it. Those professionals who are motivated to adjust their speaking in order to get people to listen, develop better relations with staff, investors and customers. The result will be fewer misunderstandings and more success in the business. By making the following adjustments to your conversations, you too can experience the satisfying results of positive communication.

1. Stop talking

When someone talks incessantly, the listener naturally wants to tune out. Listening is an energy draining process, so forcing people to listen for long periods of time can wear them out. To motivate others, especially if you are the boss or key figure in a negotiation, be quiet and listen to others in order to discover what they are thinking. Stop talking long enough to capture the entire essence of what the other person is saying. Use that "paraphrasing" skill you learned in communications class. Listen for the value the other person wants to add and incorporate that into your response.

2. Get to the point