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Editor's note. In this column Fr. Frank Pavone writes about Forbidden Grief, a book to be released in 2002, by his friend Dr. Theresa Burke.
He begins with a lengthy quote:
"There is no social norm for dealing with an abortion. There are no Hallmark cards for friends who have had an abortion, declaring either sympathy or congratulations. We don't send flowers. We don't have any ceremonies, either joyous or mournful. We have no social customs or rules of etiquette governing acknowledgment of an abortion. Instead, we all try to ignore it."
The book "demonstrates that grief after abortion is neither expected nor permitted in our society," Fr. Pavone writes. This "disenfranchised grief," he adds, "eats away at the personality, and results in harmful and bizarre behavior."
As a graduate student, Theresa Burke led a weekly support group for women with eating disorders. The meeting exploded out of control one night when, unexpectedly, the topic of abortion arose.
Six of the eight participants had had abortions. This led Theresa to begin exploring the connections. One woman explained, "I am never hungry when I binge.EI eat because I am full. Full of anger, hurt, sadness, and loneliness. I throw up because that is the way I empty myself of those feelings."
Every thought and emotion we have is connected to other thoughts, emotions, and memories. Connections to the negative memories associated with abortion are often overlooked, even by ...