Playing pickup.(Tricia Garner--Young And Restless)

I'm standing in a dimly lit room. In one corner, a guy is serving drinks. In another corner, a DJ is playing Outkast's "Hey Yd." Anxious-looking women, clutching their coats and fussing with their hair, are clustered along one wall. Across the room are some of the most uncomfortable men I've ever seen. No one is dancing. No one is mingling. What is this, junior high?

No, it's the "ice-breaking" portion of the Washington Wizards' popular Singles Night event. Fifty dollars buys you a ticket to a Wizards game and a chance to meet the man or woman of your dreams. But the road to Mr. or Ms. Right has hit a little speed bump. "I was married for 10 years, and I can't believe how much it's changed," confides the woman next to me. "Men just don't approach women anymore."

Someone forgot to tell Tommy the Matchmaker. He blows into the room with a microphone--think Martin Short on speed--and immediately begins to pull people together. "Guys, can you believe all the women pretending they don't want to look you in the eye?" he says. "Come on, ladies, don't hold five the coat, because the guys can't see the product?"

Oh. My. Goodness.

I make my way into the arena, where the Wizards are getting ready to take on the Rockets. We are supposed to sit boy-girl. I plop into my seat in the middle of the row. "So, you know anything about basketball?" says the guy on my right.

Gee, you think? I edit most of the NBA coverage in the freakin' SPORTING NEWS, and I still play the game once a week. But I am incognito--no mention of my job. (The girls at work have instructed me to say I'm a stewardess, a la Miranda from Sex and the City, if asked.) I shrug. "I know a little."

He snickers. "Yeah, right."