ask mrs. exeter; At a certain age, are poet sleeves poetry-or poor taste.

Question: While shopping for fall, I noticed the preponderance of some very extraordinary shirts, with sleeves way beyond the puffed and romantic. Huge gothic things. Generally speaking, at my age some sleeve is always better than no sleeve, and I appreciate that the mode in fashion these days is to experiment with ideas about volume and theatricality. But really, Mrs. Exeter, for women like us, these flamboyant blouses may be alluring-but are they impossible to wear?

Answer: Addressing the vagaries of fashion and style and one's happy navigations therein, my grandmother's great friend Dame Edith Sitwell once famously opined, "Why not be oneself? That is the whole secret of successful appearance. If one is a greyhound, why try to look like a Pekingese?"

Dame Edith must have just come from visiting Palm Beach or the Riviera. And what was it Jerry Zipkin told Carolina Herrera? She reminded me of it the other day, and we both laughed: "At a certain age, you shouldn't have too much drama. At a certain age, it is enough just to be clean."

Please, yes, always try the new styles; buy them if they flatter. Seductive, elegant, beguiling, and perfect for important conversations, for flirting and cocktails, for theater evenings and black-tie parties, hurrah for all these new shirts; they are as exciting as Barnum & Bailey balloons. But beware of what I call the Carmen Miranda effect: a blouse that looks as if your hat slipped.

I adore some of the new shirts and blouses. Just about everything in Carolina Herrera's collection delights me, as does her CH line, too, and there is a Zac Posen winged confection I feel positively victorious about, but I like to think, as with all new clothes, that I will incorporate these pieces into my wardrobe rather than be co-opted by them.

If you are short, you will want a big shirt with decolletage for balance, or you will look like you are drowning, not waving, in an excess of material. If you are tall, you might consider a blouse with a tapered waist, or belted, lest you look like so much material someone tries to sail you in a Newport regatta. Make sure to wear the best possible undetectable foundation under your blouse. Beware of too many ruffles at the neck, lest your head look like a cork. Probably, you will want to soften your hairstyle and add some flattering, softer dimensions to complement your new venture in Lord Byron-like dressing; the Le Cirque helmet does not cut it with this look.

Gosh, these new shirts are right up Aileen Mehle's street. (For the uninitiated, she is the delicious writer known as Suzy.) And I remember fondly the gigantic Gianfranco Ferre opera blouses Nan Kempner wore with such panache. I hope some of those shirts make it to the Met's Costume Institute exhibit of Nan's clothes in December.