MEET THE BEATLES, AGAIN.(The Talk of the Town)

Hypothesis: The recent release of the American versions of four early Beatles albums in CD form has caused excitement among fans of a certain age; therefore, listening to the CDs should give rise to measurable physiological responses indicating that the level of joy provided by the American versions exceeds the supposedly superior original British versions (which contain some different songs, in different order) and that anyone who thinks otherwise is just plain wrong.

In order to test the hypothesis, subjects would listen to two songs on "Meet the Beatles!" while their vital signs were monitored. To qualify for the experiment, subjects were required to have fulfilled the following conditions: (1) They had to confirm that they loved the Beatles from the moment they heard "Meet the Beatles!" in 1964. (2) They had to swear that they had listened to the album constantly for months on end and knew by heart the order of the songs on the album. Most prospective subjects were eliminated, either because in 1964 they would have been too young or too old to really get the Beatles or because of simple prejudice on the part of the experimenter. Four subjects, ranging in age from forty-four to fifty-four, were found to be suitable, and were persuaded to give up their lunch hour in order to further the cause of science.

Materials: (1) One biofeedback device, for the purpose of measuring galvanic skin resistance. As explained in the instruction manual, "GSR is a reflection of variations in your sweat-gland activity and pore size. . . . When you become excited, frightened, or disturbed to any degree, the [sympathetic nervous] system activates chemical and physical changes all through your body." (2) One heart-rate monitor, which, in the terminology used in the song "I Saw Her Standing There," would indicate whether a subject's "heart went boom" upon hearing the songs on "Meet the Beatles!" (3) One sphygmomanometer, whose technical name is "that inflatable thing that they put on your arm when you go for a checkup and the nurse squeezes the bulb and then tells you what your blood pressure is." (4) One boom box. (5) Four mood rings.

Procedure: Before turning on the music, the experimenter gave each of the four subjects incomprehensible instructions about how to use the equipment; special attention was given to the heart monitor, a strap-on device that circled the subject's bare torso and contained electrodes that had to be moistened with water. There was tacit agreement between the experimenter and the subjects to pretend not to notice any excess weight in ...