Surprise: no prize.(selling it: goofs / glitches / gotchas)

This missive from the Sweepstakes Prize Reporting Network (S.P.R.N.) to an Ohio reader named Barbara sure looks like a sweepstakes. It even talks like one, with the kind of silly sentences that are a sure bet when it comes to contests:

* "You are issued these actual papers."

* "These Papers have been Typed for You."

* "The Officers and personnel at S.P.R.N. Report Headquarters all extend our most excited salutations to You Barbara in this Very Exciting Matter."

S.P.R.N. is saluting Barbara because "the Amount of the Money and Awards Reported are Firmly Stated in the total Amount of $1,900,000; The Reported $Funds/Awards are Confirmed and access to the Monies and Awards is immediate."

The reality behind the fancy phrasing isn't so funny On the flip side of the letter is this: "The Sweepstakes Prize Reporting Network does not conduct any sweepstakes and does not award money or prizes." And it "does not enter respondents into any sweepstakes." What does it do? It says it publishes a report on how to enter sweepstakes and contests.

All Barbara had to do was fill out a Candidate Confirmation Document (it fingered her as an "identified individual") and send it to the Completion Managers Office along with ...