Holiday tipping: what people really give.(money)

Angst over tipping the service providers in your life--the newspaper carrier, your housekeeper, the hairdresser--ratchets up around the holidays.

"Most people know to leave a waitress a 15 percent to 20 percent gratuity," says Michael Lynn, an associate professor of consumer behavior at Cornell University's School of Hotel Administration, who studies tipping. But, he adds, many people aren't sure whether to give, to whom, or how much during the holidays.

We interviewed etiquette experts and surveyed online about 3,100 subscribers to ConsumerReports.org to find out what they do. Many said they often don't know whether to tip. Perhaps that's why 42 percent told us that they refrained from giving any holiday gifts to their housekeepers, newspaper carriers, and 11 other commonly used service providers.

Nonetheless, three general principles emerged from our research that can help you show your appreciation without busting the budget.

Reward those who make a difference. Start by "looking at people whose work has had the greatest impact on you," says Elizabeth Howell, a spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt., which provides etiquette advice. Among the most important are people who take care of your home and your family, particularly your children.

Indeed, child-care providers in our survey were among the most often tipped (by those who used such services). If you have in-home care, Howell says that the appropriate tip is one week's pay or more plus a gift from the child. (If your kids are at a day-care center, she suggests $25 to $70 for each worker, plus a gift.)

Tipping anything less is a no-no. Hilka Klinkenberg, managing director of Etiquette International, a New York consulting company, says that while she knows that some families are struggling, "if you can take vacations and go out to dinner, you are under-bonusing." If you can't give as much as you'd like, she suggests that you add a note of thanks to whatever you do give.