Six rules for dyke tykes.

Editor's note: "Fag hag" is so 1980s. What's so now? "Dyke tyke." In urban lore, the concept of men who hang out with lesbians--and not the creepy kind seen on The L Word--is rapidly gaining attention. So we asked Dr. Richard Wassersug, professor of anatomy and neurobiology, gender studies researcher, and dyke tyke expert, how to sort out the leches from the real DTs.

LET'S START BY CORRECTING THE misconception that as a dyke tyke I'm simply a reverse fag hag. Yes, a dyke tyke is male, just as a fag hag is female. But to be a good dyke tyke requires more sensitivity and grace than being a fag hag. That's because a single female is rarely a threat to males, whereas a single male is too often a threat to females. I take it as a given that women will view me with skepticism, if not suspicion, when they first meet me. So how do I overcome these misgivings and earn the friendship of lesbians I've never met?

Here are my six rules for successful dyke tyking:

1. Since I want women to feel safe, I only approach women in pairs or groups in a public setting. They must be obviously "out"--in a gay bar or coffee shop in the gay part of town. It is essential that they know that I know they are lesbians and therefore that I'm not interested in them sexually--nor do I expect them to be sexually interested in me.

2. I am absolutely open and direct. I usually introduce myself with, "Hello, I know you don't know me and I know this will sound very strange, but I am a dyke tyke and I was wondering if I could be your tyke for this afternoon/evening." This often leads to fun conversations, with the onus on me to prove that I am for real. Nothing helps more than to have other lesbians around ...