Loopy liberal lawsuits: a look at some possible upcoming litigation sparked by the fact that the government is being pressured to list polar bears as an endangered species because of global warming.(HUMOR)

"Jocko! Jocko!" Marie yelled to her husband. "This came in the mail! This came in the mail!" Marie waved a sheaf of papers as she scurried to the house, holding mail in one hand and 13-month-old Charlie in the other. "It says that we're going to get sued," she burst out as she got closer.

"Let me see that, please," Jocko replied, as he stomped dirt from his too-large, knee-high rubber boots and wiped his hands on his jeans. Marie handed him the letter, and he began to read parts of it aloud as he walked into the house and sat down at the kitchen table: "'Mr. Johannsen, this letter is to inform you that the Association for Animal Lovers Everywhere intends to sue you pursuant to violations of the Endangered Species Act. Your farm operations have been determined by us to have a detrimental effect on U.S. populations of polar bears. Your operations ...'"

"Wait a minute, Jocko," Marie interjected. "Check the address and make sure that we were the ones who were supposed to get that letter."

"Yep," he said after glancing at the envelope, "it says, 'Johannsen--1312 Grouse Lane, Lakewood, Wisconsin.' That's us."

"You'd think that if that group that is planning to sue us really represents animal lovers everywhere, they'd know their geography well enough to know that there aren't any polar bears here in Wisconsin."

Jocko momentarily reads to himself before answering, "They know that, Honey. Evidently, our farm emits a gaseous vapor that 'is a greenhouse gas and has a negative effect on our planet's climate and ...'"

"They say we're causing global warming? Do you think they realize we run a tree farm?"