Negotiating where others fear to tread.

Many women were never socialized to ask for or negotiate anything. The instructions were to take care of others' needs before worrying about their own. Careers simply happened.

Janet McCord, director of thanatology at Marian College WI, found a way to "force her foot in the door at the right times" on her own career path. She was hired last year to create a post-baccalaureate program on end-of-life issues and directs the college's Edwin S. Schneidman program in Thanatology.

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Research points out that regret contributes to a difficult end-of-life transition. Learning negotiation skills earlier in life helps to ensure that when we reach that stage, we have fewer regrets.

McCord spoke on how to negotiate through the system at the Wisconsin Women in Higher Education Leadership (WWHEL) conference held at Marian College WI in October.

"I've arrived and it's not where I expected to be," she admitted. "When I graduated from high school in 1972, I didn't want to go to college. But I didn't want to be a stock clerk or a waitress either, so I went to college."

McCord wrote letters asking people to be her mentors. "I told them 'I want to learn from you,'" she said. Among them was Elie Wiesel, the author and Holocaust survivor who encouraged McCord to write her dissertation on Holocaust survivors who killed themselves after the war. Another was Edwin Schneidman, who is the leading expert in suicide and suicide prevention.