How to give and take criticism.

(From Philippine Daily Inquirer)

PERHAPS the two toughest things to do are to give criticism and to receive criticism. Both sides of this dynamic exchange should be examined because if you are committed to your career and those of your staff, you will find yourself on each side of the conversation. These pointers will make the conversation more effective.

Select a good time. Always conduct a feedback session in private. Never conduct it when the person is too stressed to really hear what you are saying. If it is urgent, ask the person to "take five" and come back to meet with you.

Remain calm. If you are upset about an error, don't have the meeting while you are upset. Take a walk and have the discussion when you are calm. During the meeting, no matter what is thrown at you, remain calm. If it gets out of control, stop the meeting and set a time to continue.

Send a clear message. Don't beat around the bush. Be precise; let them know exactly what is not working and your suggestion for improvement. Have notes handy with specific details. Always criticize the behavior, not the person. Make sure the receiver understands completely by asking them to paraphrase or soliciting questions or comments from them. Once the other person participates in the conversation, you'll be able to tell if they understand the issue and your motivation for the meeting.

Start and finish properly. Some people say to start and finish with positive comments. However, if your positive comment is about good work, your critical message may get lost in the midst of the positive notes. Instead, start with a positive comment such as, "I care about your success, ...