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Who's got your remote control?(emotional control)

Women in Higher Education

| November 01, 2004 | Kasper, Jeanette | COPYRIGHT 2004 Women in Higher Education. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

When is the last time you gave your remote control to someone else?

Was it just this morning? Right before you got out of the house this morning, did you toss your remote control to your kids so they could go "CLICK. Have a bad day, mom." And, because they pushed the 'bad day' button, we've been having a bad day!

Or was it on the road. Did you toss your remote control to another driver on the road so he or she could go, "CLICK. Now you're irritated!" And you got to work irritated because that other driver pushed the 'irritated' button on your remote control.

Or, did you get to work this morning and immediately toss your remote control to your "difficult person" at work so that person could go, "CLICK. Have a frustrating day!" And you've been frustrated all day. Felt like you've been going a million miles an hour, but you haven't really gotten anything done. Your difficult person pushed the 'frustrated' button on your remote control.

Our everyday language reveals just how often we toss other people our remote controls. "He made me so angry!" "There's nothing I can do about it." "He/she/it did it on purpose!" And all those people who waste your time complaining or gossiping, listen to their language. It's ALWAYS someone else's fault! Somehow, the people we live with, work with, and encounter in our day gain access to our remote controls and push our buttons. They know EXACTLY what our triggers are. They are doing it to us on purpose.

Really, the only way anyone ...

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