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"This is not an autobiographical novel," an author's note warns at the start of "Don't Point That Thing at Me" (Overlook; $13.95), by the British author Kyril Bonfiglioli. "It is about some other portly, dissolute, immoral and middle-aged art dealer." The dealer in question, Charlie Mortdecai, is also an occasional art thief, and at the opening of the novel there is an old gilt frame burning in the fireplace of his Mayfair penthouse, a Goya stolen from the Prado possibly hidden under his valuable Savonnerie rug, and, standing more or less on the rug, a hated antagonist from a special branch of the police:
Somewhere in the trash he reads Martland has read that ...