The toll of machismo.

(From Philippine Daily Inquirer)

Byline: Rina Jimenez-David

FR. Robert Reyes, "running priest," president of Gomburza, the organization of Filipino diocesan clergy, and feminist-in-training, called to ask if I could find space in this column for a reflection he prepared in connection with the case of Kenneth and Tere Duremdes. Father Robert says he is "helping out" in the case between the PBA cager and his estranged wife, and apparently he has learned much from this involvement about the impact of Pinoy machismo on relationships and families.

Father Robert entitled his piece "Kenneth and Tere, PBA and Pinoy Machismo." The statement follows in full:

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"IT was a pleasant and interesting first encounter. Then there were more meetings. The initial friendship turns into romance, which quickly evolves into love. In no time they are talking marriage. For some wedding bells will peal. For others a quick civil wedding followed by a simple lunch with some relatives and friends. Many, however, simplify everything by just living together with neither plans nor commitment. Of course, children are not far behind. The friendship, turned into romance idealized into love inescapably sealed by children, is a process typical of so many celebrity weddings between the Machos of show biz, the PBA, politics, etc. and their love-struck and trusting wives to be.

"I write this article with pain in my heart and butterflies in my guts. How many marriages and relationships have I seen crumble or nearly crumble because of the illusions and delusions created by the empty chivalry of the culture of machismo which victimizes the men as much as their women? Recently, the Kenneth and Tere Duremdes romance, whose beginnings I witnessed, collapsed amid a case of bigamy and marital violence. Some months ago, we also witnessed the ugly end of the Kris-Joey affair. Sometime ago, we heard a President bragging about her 'plentiful sex life.' More than a year ago, we suffered the pangs of an unwanted sex scandal hitting no less than three Pinoy bishops.