WANNA BUY A BRIDGE?(The Talk of the Town)(Willis Avenue Bridge, New York City)

Hi, Mr. Vandemark? Are you there? . . . Can you pick up? . . . I guess you're not there. O.K., this is the Talk of the Town Realty Office. I'm still working on apartments for you and Mrs. Vandemark, but something else just came up that I thought, maybe, might really work for you. I remember you said you had an island--Maine, or somewhere?--and I wonder, is this island by any chance either three hundred and one feet or two hundred and forty-four feet from the shore? Because if it is I have a really unique property. Actually, it's more of an accessory. Anyway, it's a bridge. The Willis Avenue Bridge. New York City is selling the Willis Avenue Bridge. For a dollar. First New York City bridge ever offered for sale, far as anyone knows, and I wouldn't advise holding your breath for the next one. The kicker? Delivery anywhere within fifteen miles of its present site, at 125th Street and the Harlem River, is free. Comes in sections on a barge. I'm thinking this bridge might make a terrific approach to your island. Think how 6,213 tons of steel and 29,546 cubic yards of masonry would look in Penobscot Bay. Is that a statement, or what?

I know you're probably thinking, What's wrong with the bridge that the city's selling it? Nothing, they're just replacing it, starting in 2007. According to Iris Weinshall, the commissioner of the city's Department of Transportation, the city usually dismantles a property like this one, "decomposes" it, she says, but since some of the funds for the new bridge are coming from the federal and state governments, the city's required to try and find a new use for it. It's old--it opened in 1901--and it needs some attention, but it handles so much traffic that the city can't shut it down to ...