Family values: is your facility's fee structure family friendly? The answer may be affecting your bottom line.

On December 27, 2003, I went from being a lifelong bachelorette to being a part of a family. On my wedding day, I married three men: James, Sr., 46, James, Jr., 18, and Michael, 16. Life has become more exciting, more rewarding--and noisier.

Like many American families, we are now properly blended. The boys live with us on weekends and whenever their schedules allow. They often pop in to say hello, raid the fridge or solicit a loan.

Our family is not alone in facing the challenges of the blended family. In fact, the "typical" American family no longer looks like a 1950s sitcom. We have grandparents raising children; aunts and uncles with custody of other family members' children; families with two mommies or daddies; and in some cases, more than one family sharing a roof.

Having spent more than 20 years in the field of parks and recreation, I can remember some heated debates at the board and commission level about the definition of the family. I have assisted many communities in trying to determine the definition of a family when establishing a fee structure. But the impact of this issue never truly hit me until my family became a victim to these definitions.

We decided to join the local fitness center so that the whole family could work out together. We also needed to join as a family so that our youngest son could work out. (Age restrictions for the weight room required one of us to be with him for a workout.)

But upon trying to register as a family, we were told that we were ineligible, since the boys lived at a separate address from my husband and me. I used my best negotiating skills in an attempt to explain that we are indeed a family.

My husband could authorize emergency care if needed and had all of the legal rights of any father to his children.