Byline: George Wayne
Millions swoon over Jesse Metcalfe, the sweaty hedge trimmer and paramour of Eva Longoria on Desperate Housewives. Our correspondent was interested in getting to the bottom of some pressing topics with the former model and soap actor-among them: his alleged college music career, his unibrow, and the unusual prominence of his pectoral muscles.
George Wayne: Is it true that whilst you were in college you fronted a band called the Butt Plug?
Jesse Metcalfe: Called what?!
G.W. The Butt Plug. Yes or no?
J.M. Who am I talking to right now?
G.W. George Wayne.
J.M. From Vanity Fair?