Ireland's doing well... but what about me?

(From Irish Independent)

Everyone's doing well in Ireland. I know this for a fact because an entrenched Fianna Fail supporter confidently told me so a few weeks ago.

Last Saturday morning I couldn't have agreed more. It was a good morning to be Irish - or so it seemed as I sipped a skinny latte on Dublin's Dawson Street.

I drove my Terenure tractor (that's a jeep to the rest of you) into town and joined the hordes of people on Grafton Street who are doing well. I nestled in with throngs of BT shoppers who already were impeccably dressed but seemed in need of further impeccability.

I admired a 1,200 pair of shoes but mindful of the fact that bling is no longer the thing, I opted for a 695 pair of boots instead. On the way out, I bought a piece of costume jewellery, a necklace that will easily double as a weapon if any yob ever approaches me in the city at night. It's important to make a big statement with jewellery this season; nothing shows you up more on a night out with the girls than a measly little piece of junk jewellery.

With enough purchases to see me through Christmas 2006, I toddled off to view a 1.3 million house. Obviously I can't afford the 5,000-a-month mortgage but my media executive boyfriend probably can and, anyway, Sandra and Brian who live in our complex never look at anything under a million these days. I made a mental note to work on the boyfriend about getting out of that grotty little penthouse apartment over dinner at the Pearl brasserie later that evening.

Well actually, I just made all that up.