The rally monkey, Ozzy, racing bratwursts and dancin' the `YMCA'. (The Closer).

Have you been to a ballpark lately? Have you been to Detroit and rode the carousel and Ferris wheel? Have you been to St. Louis and tested your fastball and won a prize? What about Phoenix? They have sushi there.

Have you been to Yankee Stadium and done the "YMCA" dance with the ground crew? Have you been to Tampa and seen the dancing ground crew guy? I didn't know John Travolta had a new job. That guy might be more entertaining than the team.

Have you been to Milwaukee and seen the racing bratwursts? When I was with the Tigers, we played in Milwaukee, and Hideo Nomo dressed in one of those suits. He won the race.

Have you been to Boston when Manny Ramirez or Nomar Garciaparra hits a homer? The sound system blasts, "SAY, `BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.' LET ME HEAR YOU SAY, `HEY, OH, HEY, OH.'" I'd give up a homer and actually be singing that stupid song as the guy rounds the bases.

Have you ever been to Denver when Larry Walker steps into the box, and they blast the song "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne? That's cool.

As far as songs go, Jeff Bagwell has a good one. When he is on deck and the pitcher goes 2-0 on the hitter in front of him, they play the laws theme.

Don't forget the Rally Monkey in Anaheim. They play this videotape of a monkey dressed up in an Angels uniform. They play it when they are losing or tied late in the game. The monkey jumps up and down, and it works. I've seen them come back to win ... off me!