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Drinking motor oil, chewing aluminum foil and flossing with barbed wire all are more appealing to Red Sex fans like me than watching Roger Clemens celebrate a World Series championship in pinstripes, which he did in 1999 and 2000. Only two things will be worse: Clemens winning his 300th game in a Yankees uniform and Clemens going into the Hall of Fame as a Yankee.
At least I can take comfort that he's not loyal to the Yankees because he's not loyal to anybody. Every Red Sox fan remembers Clemens' spiel in 1996 about respect, winning and playing closer to home (Texas). Soon after, he agreed to play for the powerhouse Blue Jays in Canada, which is not at all close to Texas. But it wasn't about the money. Sure, just like Clemens thought that bat he threw at Mike Piazza was a baseball.
Many fans think former Red Sex general manager Dan Duquette is the reason Clemens left Boston, but this is the one time the Duke isn't to blame. The Red Sox were willing to pay Clemens fair market value based on his declining performance at the time, but he wanted more and he wanted out. That is why Clemens is a traitor of Benedict Arnold proportions in New England. Boston's Enemies List is long, but Clemens is at the top.
Check out the Rocket's final three seasons in Boston: 29 wins, 25 losses and endless crying. Compare that with his next two seasons in Toronto: 41 wins, 13 losses and two Cy Young Awards.
When Clemens decided he wanted to win--not surprisingly, he never reached the playoffs with the Blue lays--he again whined his way out of town and coat-tailed his way to glory with the Yankees' dynasty. What a feel-good story! But why doesn't anyone outside of Boston remember that Clemens once threatened not to pitch late in '96 when the Red Sox were in contention? Or that he was ejected from a decisive playoff game against Oakland in '90? Or that he left the infamous Bill Buckner World Series game early ...