dress codes; Deciphering "festive," "business casual," or "fancy dress" can be a nerve-racking business.

Byline: William Norwich

For the non-allergic, this is a great time of the year.

The weather in most parts of the country has cooled down, new fall clothes are begging to be worn, and since it is not a holiday season of family get-togethers and obligations, even the lonely can step out at night without high risk to heartstrings. From a fund-raiser for the Hudson River landmark Olana to the opening of the new de Young Museum in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, there is something glittering for everyone this October. Add the great American costume cotillion called Halloween, and it's a dazzling brew.

What will you wear? Specifically, how will you interpret those wee messages on all those special invitations, the ever-clever but increasingly obscure directives: the dress code?

It is never easy. Even the basics-formal, informal, and casual-have unraveled in recent years; no doubt Jayne Wrightsman's "informal" is something quite different from, say, Cameron Diaz's. Ladies will most likely be wearing long dresses at Mrs. Wrightsman's, while at Cameron Diaz's it is probably interpreted as "don't bother buttoning the pockets on your cargo pants." (No slight on Cameron intended here, never, ever. Wait until you see her stellar turn in In Her Shoes, a film whose many virtues include bringing the poetry of Elizabeth Bishop to mass attention.)

How, then, does one proceed when asked to dress "smart funky" for a wedding in San Francisco; "Texas chic" for a benefit in Boston; "upscale casual" for a dinner in Atlanta; or "cocktail" for a drinks party in Chicago?

My advice is to relax. No one expects you to have the etiquette knowledge of a White House social secretary. I think it demonstrates wonderful good manners to feel comfortable enough in your own skin to telephone your hostess before the fete and ask for direction when you are uncertain about how to dress. It shows not your social lack but rather your commitment to being the best guest you can be in someone's house.