WEDDING BELL BLUES.(Brief Article)

TARKIO, MISSOURI--I had planned on aging as a sort of gradual process, a graceful slide from the summer of my life through a rewarding fall, with winter somewhere far in the future. No sudden changes, just a slow decline into senescence with, finally, a gray and stooped version of me dispensing wisdom to my many grandchildren on the porch of our farm home, these wisdom dispensing sessions taking place mostly in the early fall, because that is the only time of year the weather is bearable here in the midwest. The rest of the year would be spent among the idle rich in more agreeable climes.

And I was doing O.K., at least until the spring of this year. Oh, yes, my hairline has been receding for a while, my waistline is expanding, and I'm grayer than I would like. But these changes have been gradual, and not unexpected. Recently, though, things started going down hill fast. It started when the morning paper became blurry. I found myself turning on the TV when I normally would have been reading, and finally realized I need bifocals. Then a trip to the doctor for a sinus infection led to not one but two prescriptions for blood pressure medication.

Finally, although grandchildren were in my future plans, I really wasn't prepared for the intermediate steps necessary to that goal. But I'm preparing myself now, because my daughter Ann, a senior in college, has announced that her boyfriend Matt will be joining us at a family gathering. And would like a chance to visit with me. Alone.

Now, I guess he could want to talk about the weather, or the prospects of his beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers. But I'm afraid the subject of our conversation is more likely to be my daughter's hand in marriage. Whoa, that was hard to type! I'm not ready for a discussion of such gravity.

Ann has clearly made the most important decision she will ever make, and the idea that my opinion would influence her is a humorous ...