I BLAME THE EGYPTIANS.(commentary on how far the blame should go in criminal cases)(Brief Article)

A 14-year-old girl died in my neighborhood--allegedly raped and murdered. In the morning paper, amid flailing accusations about who's to blame, one writer lashed out: "Whoever dumped the couch there, it's their fault. That's where little guys entice little girls." (The "little guy" in this case was an 18-year-old senior in high school.)

This is a very modern bit of blame-shifting, fingering litterbugs for the rape and murder of a young girl. But after thinking about it for a while, I realize it doesn't go nearly far enough.

We ought not blame whoever left the furniture in the park, we ought to blame the furniture makers. Craftsmen make the couches--they're the ones responsible for the girl's death.

But wait, that's not really fair, because like the Peruvian peasants who are only trying to make a living by growing coca, today's furniture makers are just seeking to survive in a capitalist world. Let us call the furniture advertisers to justice! It's the admen, with their deadly "End of the Year!" sales and "No interest for six months!" offers, who make the couches attractive in the first place. I venture to say we wouldn't even have couches if it weren't for the ads that brainwash us into thinking we need them.

Somehow, though, blaming the ...