1. AN INTEGRATED TRANSPORT SYSTEM.(Melbourne, Australia)(Brief Article)(Statistical Data Included)

With its bleak tangle of freeways, yovers and ramps (and the occasional high-rise slum-in-waiting oking through), a large part of inner Melbourne has come to resemble, albeit four decades late, a 1960s vision of the city of tomorrow dreamt up by some crazed Detroitfunded planner. Unfortunately, the vision was reduced to near-paralysis recently when water seeping in from the Yarra caused the closure of its connecting artery, the brand-new Citylink tunnel, prompting road rage and recriminations all round. Yet did they but know it, Melbourne motorists got off lightly compared with users of Ghasthurst's freeways after a series of regrettable incidents blocked their splendid new $300-billion "SpeedLink" road tunnel under the Tomandjeri River.

The tunnel, previously used for trains, had been adapted for car use after Ghasthurst, taking its cue from progressive Tasmania, sensibly closed down its entire rail network in favour of a "user-driven road strategy". The first incident happened about three hours after SpeedLink was opened with great ceremony by the Mayor of Ghasthurst and Mr Tojo, managing director of Kurosawa, the tunnel consortium's chief shareholder and contractor. A speed-governed at-190 quadruple-unit three-level "Helldriver" lorry train, one of the bigger-than-ever models only just put into service by Road-Hogg Heavy Haulage (motto: "You are being passed by another Road-Hogg") entered the tunnel in careless disregard of the six-metre height restriction and got wedged beneath a metal arch. As traffic banked up and fumes filled the air the heat in the tunnel began to melt the lorry train's cargo of thousands of tonnes of ice cream. Motorists found themselves trapped in a rising sea of strawberry ripple, blue heaven, mango whirl and other assorted flavours. "My windscreen wipers jammed in a hail of choc chips when the traffic in front of me skidded into the sludge," one driver reported. "Cars were disappearing like into coloured quicksand--blob! and they were gone."

Rescuers worked around the clock while Road-Hogg's proprietor, trucking magnate Mr Les Hogg, issued an avalanche of writs against Kurosawa for loss of business. But no sooner was the tunnel open again than water was discovered flowing from a hole ...