Selling it.(ads, labels)(Humor)(Column)

Black Hole Awards.

Is there a worldwide shortage of chocolate? We found no Cocoa Oatios at all in half the box of this breakfast cereal. Then there's the box of chocolate hearts, distributed by Galerie Au Chocolat, in which a single layer of candy is propped atop a plastic support. A reader who bought the candy for Valentine's Day noticed too late the tiny disclaimer--or maybe it's a boast--on the box's bottom: "Candy lifted by riser!"

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Just don't make us use the catbox.

We were tickled by the unusual directions for Mr. Spats Cat-a-Comb, a wall-mounted self-grooming cat brush. "Mount the Cat-a-Comb on the wall," they commanded, "and demonstrate its use by crawling on your hands and knees and rubbing up against it like a cat. IMPORTANT: Cats learn by imitation, so your theatrical performance is critical to effective learning." The reader who sent us the directions reports that she skipped the personal demonstration; her cat got the idea without it.

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Pay more or we'll charge more.