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1. Tastelessness. The Japanese media are offering $2 million for photos of Ichiro Suzuki in the nude. The Canadian media are offering $2 million for the destruction of photos of Larry Walker in the nude.
2. Johnny Oates. His parting wish: When the movie of his life is made, Charles Bronson plays the lead.
3. The Marlins. Contraction is in the future. As in, shouldn't, wouldn't, won't and can't.
4. Twins fans. They embarrassed Jesse Ventura and made Chuck Knoblauch look like a guy who deserves ...