Caught on the Fly.(sports humor)(Brief Article)

Hey, didn't you used to be Howard Eisley?

* Fly finds nothing more amusin' than watching the Patsies' brain trust (as in, trust us, if you put all these heads together, you'll come up with a brain) stackin' the draft board and comin' up with something completely different than the other 30 teams in this here pigskin parley, Richard Seymour? What in the name of Tebucky Jones is goin' on here?

* There's nothin' like fine whine ($4.99 a bottle at the local Piggly Wiggly), but Fly's had about enough of this flavor: Hoops coach at Mid-Level U. sells out for Big $tate, leavin' recruits upset and abandoned because (sniff) they woulda never (sniff) gone to Mid-Level (sniff) if it weren't for Coach (hoonnnkkk!). Puh-leeze. Yo, Sparky, maybe Coach showed no loyalty by going for the $$$, but where're your loyalties gonna be should scouts from the League come a-calling?

* What, safety? Honcho Mike Helton sees nothing but safety when he looks at NASCAR. How's this for safety: Last time Fly was in a NASCAR crowd, everyone was wearin' hard hats. Of course, the hats had two cans of beer and straws attached. Yo, Mike, Fly's not so sure that counts as risk reduction.

* Gotta love those teal-n-purple fans (wait, let Fly count 'em up ... OK, done). Desperate to avoid the whole sections of empty seats that were common in ...