Why female bonding is important: journalist Adrian Nicole LeBlanc examines friendships between women and discovers the surprising things that keep them afloat. (On My Mind).

* I've always known that female friendships are paramount, but it wasn't until I was researching my new book, Random Family, that I realized how crucial they are to our well-being and sometimes even our very survival. I spent more than 10 years interviewing and observing two young women and their families in the Bronx. While their experience of living in the inner city is specific, they taught me universal truths about the way women deal with each other, which can help us all understand our own relationships better. Here's what I learned about female bonding:

Girl talk is good for you. Going shopping or giving one another manicures may seem like just a way to pass the time, but the back-and-forth chatter such activities encourage serves a very important purpose. When women trade clothing and makeup tips, they're not only expressing themselves but also showering one another with compliments and genuine appreciation. But it has to be a two-way street. One day, one of the women I was tracking in the Bronx insisted on styling my hair, and we had a great conversation about everything from our bodies to our outlook on life. Not only did she make me feel cared for, but her primping taught me a critical lesson: Paying attention requires reciprocity.

Silent understanding. The hardest times require no conversation. Real friends can grasp the important stuff without words--sometimes with a single discerning look--and can comfort one another simply with their presence. If a friend is going through a breakup, the best thing you can do is not focus on the future (she'll get to that herself) but simply go over to her house and be there for her. A seemingly mundane gesture such as bringing over dinner or writing a card is actually more supportive because it expresses true loyalty.

All relationships run their course. In five years, you will probably no longer be talking to one of your ...