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What could drive a girl to cheat: find out three factors that can flick your chick infidelity switch--and just how devastating the damage could be to your relationship. (Love Life).

Cosmopolitan

| November 01, 2002 | Mehalic, Jessica | COPYRIGHT 2002 Hearst Communications, reprinted with permission of Hearst. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

* Guys have a rep for being two-timers, but women aren't immune to straying. "Everyone is tempted," says Lana Staheli, Ph.D., author of Affair-Proof Your Marriage: Understanding, Preventing, and Surviving an Affair. "We grow up with the notion that once you find someone you love, you never want anyone else." But when a hot guy (you know, the type with supersuckable lips and a butt so high and tight you could rest a glass of water on it) gives off "I want you" vibes, it's hard not to cave. So how are you supposed to deal with the urge to cheat, which can include anything from kissing to intercourse? Read on before you step out on your man.

why you're tempted

Traditionally, sexual opportunism was considered a guy thing. But these days when a woman's hormones kick into high gear and the coast is clear, she's more apt to go for it. "Women are cheating recreation ally now, without an emotional connection," says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Make Up, Don't Break Up. "Television shows like Sex and the City advocate the idea of sex for the sake of pleasure, and women are buying into it."

For some philandering women, the reasons are more emotionally driven. The idea of being tied down can be just as disconcerting as it is to men, and cheating is a way for them to exert their autonomy--at least in their minds. But the majority of female cheaters feel that something's missing from their primary relationship, whether it's attention, sexual gratification, or a serious commitment.

Whatever the specifics, if your main man isn't living up to your expectations, it's easy to wonder if someone else might. "Being needed by, desired by, and attractive to somebody else boosts your self-esteem," says Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of How Could You Do This to Me? Rachel (not her real name), 24, can relate to that sentiment--she had a great thing going with ...

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