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Candidates' Diaries
The International Multilateral Edition(tm)
From the Tagebuch of Gerhard Schroeder:
. . . Vell, now iz a bick mess dat has been made from dis idiot comment from Frau Daubler-Gmelin about how der American President Georg W. Butch iz zis close to a Hitler, vich may be true, if I am being vollstandig honest, and I speak as a Deutsche Socialist, so I know from dat. You know vat I mean, nein? Butch iz a very typical type ov dat kind ov President -- popular, stark, politically clever, and, of course, vertiefung organisiert -- and a change from the previous American Fuhrer, when it was all just a big durcheinandergebracht mess mit de Ich glaube Ihren Schmerz all de time und de beruhren Sie meinen Penis to the Jewess in his office. I mean, seriously. Mein Gott! So in one sense, I think, I should be dankbar that here ist an American Fuhrer mit Kugeln, but on de ozzer hand, vat's up all de time mit de Iraq thing? Und de truth iz dat I barely got zrew the whole election Verwirrung as it waz, mitout all de trouble mit Frau Daubler-Gmelin's indiskret comments. I mean, seriously. Vat now? I know vor und fact dat Chirac vill eventually surrender to de Blair-Butch vay of seeing dings -- dey alvays do surrender, de Franzosisch -- und dat leaves me all allein. Vat a Zwangslage! Oy! I cannot stop vishing it vas Al Gore who vas der Fuhrer und not dis Butch . . .
From the Diary of Saddam Hussein:
. . . bluffing, of course, right? Of course he is. Right? I mean, he has to be, right? Right? This whole thing makes no sense otherwise, right? Right?
From the Diary of Tony Blair:
Source: HighBeam Research, The Long View.(Brief Article)