The reason you're still single: commitmentphobia isn't just a guy thing, says novelist Jill A. Davis. Here are signs that you may be the one suffering from it. (On My Mind).(Brief Article)

* In my novel, Girl's Poker Night, the protagonist, Ruby Capote, is a commitmentphobe. No, she doesn't constantly have one-night stands or date several men at once. Instead, Ruby shows her distrust of lasting romance by prolonging relationships that are doomed and avoiding those that actually have a chance of working.

Contrary to popular belief, commitmentphohia is not only a guy thing. It just takes on different characteristics in women. For me, it was the idea of being with one person forever that used to freak me out. So like my character Ruby, I stuck with men whom I could never fathom marrying but who were nice and smart enough to sit across from at dinner for several years. This arrangement worked well on many levels: I couldn't, nor would anyone expect me to, marry a man who was ultimately "just wrong" for me. Meanwhile, my boyfriends would take up all of my spare time, so I couldn't meet someone else whom I might actually love, trust, and respect enough to enthusiastically commit to forever.

Serial monogamy is just one form of female commitmentphobes. There's also the workaholic approach to staying single. I have one friend who labors for 14 hours a day and is genuinely stymied as to why she hasn't "met anyone interesting." She's hiding behind her job, getting paid handsomely to do so, and figures she'll have more time to date when she retires. It's perfect really--at age 65, who needs to worry about long-term commitment?

Other women always seem to be going after unsuitable mates. One acquaintance of mine has a magnetic attraction to men whose first language isn't English and who have little interest in learning more English. Another friend dated a vegan, whose eating habits forced them to leave dinner parties before the food was served. Then she realized that anyone that selfish would never make a good partner. "What was I thinking?" she asked. "You were collecting ...