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My boyfriend of two years gets really uncomfortable when I touch him. We have sex often enough, but there's minimal foreplay and very little cuddling and touching. He says it isn't me, that he's just self-conscious, but I feel as though my touch repulses him. What should I do?
Please don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself for other people's problems. You are in no way repulsive. You are absolutely not doing anything wrong. He has the issue. Sure, his hang-up is depriving you of the cuddling and foreplay you want and need, but it's his fear of sensual intimacy that's creating the trouble. The first thing you must do is get him to admit that he has a problem and make him understand that he is shutting out the beauty of loving contact. Start by talking to him and, more important, listening. Has he always been this way? Can he remember when it began? What caused it? Don't push him. Let the conversation happen at its own pace. When he feels safe enough to reveal his vulnerable side to you, he will be less afraid to show his feelings in a physical way. As soon as you ...