Hangover cures that work: hurting? We can help you feel better with our morning-after routine. We can't, unfortunately, make you feel better about sporting that lampshade. (Coping).

* You wake up with a thundering headache, a roller-coaster stomach, body shakes, and a massive amount of cotton that has somehow invaded your head and mouth. There's a moment of delirium and panic, and then it hits you ... hangover. You definitely overdid it last night, and now you are so paying the price.

Why exactly are you being tortured this way? According to experts, there are a number of factors doing battle inside your body that cause a hangover (called veisalgia in med-speak). "When alcohol enters your system, it breaks down into toxic chemicals," explains Jeff Wiese, M.D., assistant professor of medicine at Tulane University in New Orleans. Your body reacts to those chemicals in much the same way it reacts to the flu or even food poisoning: by trying to rid itself of the invading elements, causing inflammation of the nerves, blood vessels, and muscles, which puts your whole system under stress.

Dehydration compounds the problem. Since alcohol is a diuretic, it forces your body to flush out precious fluids. What's more, because your brain is so busy trying to regenerate the cells that were killed off the night before, you can barely focus enough to add two and two, says Dr. Wiese.

Most of us have suffered such anguish. You've probably felt bad enough to swear up and down to never, ever, ever overimbibe again. Well, just in case that pledge goes out the window (these promises do have a way of being mysteriously and utterly forgotten once the headache fades), we've got you covered with a pain-relieving routine that'll get you through the nasty ordeal. Here's what to do, starting when you wake up ... in hell.

eat a restorative breakfast

Drag your butt out of bed and make or order this menu: scrambled eggs and whole-wheat toast slathered with honey. Eggs are rich in an amino acid called cyteine, which helps your liver break down the alcohol in your system, says Lauren Slayton, director of Foodtrainers, a nutrition advice center in New York City. The toast will help absorb some of the booze still in your stomach and calm queasiness. Plus, whole grains are high in B vitamins, which are depleted by alcohol, says Slayton. Replenishing the Bs supplies you with the energy necessary to break down the liquor. The fructose in the honey also helps your body metabolize the alcohol, which means you'll get rid of it faster, says Fred Freitag, associate director of the Diamond Headache Clinic in Chicago. Don't like toast and honey? Eat a bowl of high-fiber bran cereal with some grapes or an apple instead. It'll have the same effect.

If you can't stomach such a hearty meal, munch on saltines. They'll replace some of the important minerals washed out by all those drinks you downed, says Freitag.