The Misanthrope's Corner.(Column)(Brief Article)

Last year I examined the trend toward nationwide stupidity in two columns about the people I called "Ignos" and "Duhs." Now I ask you to turn your attention to yet another group of American folk heroes: the "Ughs."

We live in stomach-turning times. Dial soap's "You're not as clean as you think you are" commercial shows a dog drinking from a toilet and then licking its owner's face.

Folger's coffee has taken Maxwell House's "good to the last drop" pitch and rendered it literally: The Folger's drinker accidentally spills a drop of his coffee on the diner counter, then bends over and licks it up with a loud slurp.

DiGiorno pizza's sloppy bachelor roommates smack their lips and talk with full mouths as they argue over whether it's delivery or DiGiorno.

Nyquil's man-with-a-cold gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen for a glass of warm milk. On his way back upstairs he snorts, drips, gags, hacks, and has a loud, phlegmy sneezing fit that spills the milk all over his bathrobe.

Tropicana orange juice, striving for a calcium statement, shows us a child patting the belly of his extremely pregnant mother, who is clad in a wet swimsuit.

PermaTreat exterminators announces, "That's a real cockroach problem," and then shows us an actual swarm.