The Long View.(make-believe diary entries of prominent Democrats)(Brief Article)

The Candidates' Diaries, April 2002

From John Kerry's diary:

. . . practiced looking concerned in the mirror a few times, until I got it down. I guess losing this war is too much to hope for, but . . .

From Dick Gephardt's diary:

. . . not actually to die, of course -- she's my mother, after all, and nature dictates that there be a bond -- but if she got sick or something, right around the New Hampshire primary, I could sort of do a "soldier on" type deal. Be a helluva story. "I dedicate my campaign to my mom" angle. Because let's face it: Bush'll get the stature vote and the foreign-affairs vote, so I've got to line up another angle. I'm testing a "trade, old people, and the environment" brew right now that works okay. No one's using that one -- they're all stuck on the war thing, which as far as I can tell is going to be a big loser. I mean, we're going to win it, so it's not really very useful . . .

From Chris Dodd's diary:

. . . and aren't people tired of sex scandals? "When I was a single man, I dated a lot of women," should be enough. But just to be on the safe side, I made a list of all of the women I think might deserve some kind of pre-New Hampshire apology phone call, and we're working right now with Oracle to turn that into a searchable database that we can continually update on an as-needed basis, because I keep remembering new ones, and Ted Kennedy has lent me his diary . . .