Do men want you to be aggressive? When it comes to letting a guy know you're interested, it's hard to tell if your approach should be piranha or pussycat. To find out, we asked our Guy Spy, Josh Dean. (Manhandling).(Brief Article)

* Men's preferences on exactly how direct and demanding we women should be in expressing our desires have ricocheted back and forth so much in the past few years, it's a miracle our necks didn't snap. First they complained--quite rightly--about having to do all the work (and risk all the rejection). So we took charge. But the grab-the-bull-by-his-horn approach was met with grumbles from the guy camp too, maybe because it messed with traditional gender roles too much. No wonder we're baffled! Well, no more. Josh Dean--our Guy Spy--is about to advise you on how to carefully calibrate your internal come-on meter. Read on for the eye-opening answers, plus pointers on how to make a pass that can't fail.

Do men prefer to do the approaching, or would they rather have a woman walk up to them?

There was a time when it was considered emasculating to have a woman pick you up, but those days have gone the way of the eight-track player. Your average, well-mannered American man is flattered when a charmingly aggressive young woman starts chatting him up. Feel out the situation. If you've made eye contact and sense "I'm interested" vibes floating across the room, give him a few minutes. If he doesn't make the move, make it for him.

What's the difference between a cool come-on from a girl and an off-putting one?

There's a fine line between pleasing and too pushy, so a good general guideline to follow is to start small, then heat things up accordingly. Open with some flirtatious-but-safe conversation that, if things don't work out, won't embarrass either of you. If he takes the bait, step up the effort by closing up personal space. Simply touching a guy's arm can be surprisingly effective at raising his pulse.

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