Misanthrope's Corner.(ethnic relations: changing attitudes)(Brief Article)

Did I ever tell you about the time I was shocked, shocked, by unabashed bigotry? It happened when I lived in Seattle. The Arab oil embargo was on, and between that and Seattle's steep hills, I decided it was time to forego the convenience of an automatic and learn how to shift gears.

I called a driving school, made an appointment, and waited outside my building for the instructor. When he pulled up and I started walking toward his car, I noticed that he was staring at me with an expression of curiosity mingled with relief. I found out why when I introduced myself.

"The secretary must have got your name wrong. I've got you down as Miss Ling," he laughed, tapping his clipboard. "Whew! I thought you were a slant!"

Having attended racially segregated public schools that classified Asians as white, I was understandably fascinated. Needing no encouragement to expound his views, he explained that all Asians were terrible drivers, but some were more terrible than others. Filipinos were the worst because they were the smallest, and being Catholic, kept taking one hand off the wheel to bless themselves. The Japanese were in the middle ("Ah-so-so. Get it? Ah-so . . . so-so!"). The best, if you could call it that, were the Chinese and Koreans, who were terrible drivers too, but at least they were tall enough to reach the pedals.

"Last slant I had put us both in the hospital," he assured me.

After a couple of lessons I was able to shift gears at quiet residential crossings with no trouble. Encouraged by my progress, the instructor decided to show me how to do something that Seattle drivers took great pride in. I forget what he called it, but it meant holding the car on a hill without touching the brake by alternating gas and clutch in precisely coordinated feedings. It was, he said reverently, the sign of an expert driver.

That was the day I rolled backwards down Queen Anne Hill and plowed into a van that turned out to be the Bloodmobile. The inscrutable F. Ling strikes again.