Men admit to their dirtiest deeds and most shameless scams ever. (Guy Confessions).

room diss-service

"I was pretty pissed when I found out that my girlfriend was two-timing me. We had planned a trip to San Francisco for the following weekend, so I decided to hold off on confronting her. But once we were in the city, she did something that really made me angry. We were shopping, and she suggested we browse separately for a bit. I decided to follow her and caught her buying cuff links, which I never wear. That night, while she was sleeping, I took all of her stuff, including her clothes, wallet, and cell phone, got in my car, and drove back home. The next morning, she called me in hysterics from the hotel room. She screamed, `How am I supposed to get myself out of here without cash or clothes?' I suggested she call the guy she bought the cuff links for." --Joshua, 28

the fly's the limit

"I was trying to impress this girl I'd been dating, so I made dinner reservations at a really trendy restaurant. It was hard to get a table there, so I called weeks in advance. When we showed up though, the hostess had no record of my reservation. I demanded to speak to the manager, who told us we would have to wait an hour. I didn't want to look like a chump in front of my date, so I started to lay into him. My date seemed to be digging my take-charge attitude until the manager said, `I'm sorry, sir. It'll be an hour. And by the way, your fly is down.'" --Matthew, 27

say my name

"My relationship with my current girlfriend started out as a one-night stand. A week after the awesome event, she called and asked me out. The only problem was that I couldn't remember her name, so I addressed her as Honey. After a couple of dates, I was really falling for her, but I was afraid she'd dump me if I told her I forgot her name. One morning while she was sleeping, I looked through her wallet and saw that her name was Elizabeth. On our next date, I decided to throw it casually into conversation. But when I did, she gave me the strangest look and said, `My name's Liza. The only person who calls me Elizabeth is my grandmother!'" --Nicholas, 22

reclining-chair romp