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The story back in the summer was that the old lags at London Weekend Television were spitting every time they heard anyone say the "Des" word. Or forming the sign of the cross with their forefingers -- a gesture reckoned since time immemorial to be effective in abjuring Dracula and all the dark deeds enacted in his name.
And who can blame them? Before Des Lynam arrived with his Saturday peaktime package of Premier League football highlights, The Premiership, LWT had it cushy. For decades, the Saturday evening ITV schedule had been a protected outlet for cheese and LWT has always been ITV's cheese factory. And the Queen of Cheese is, of course, Cilla. That's "our Cilla" to anyone over 50. Cilla, the host of Blind Date and a national treasure.
Well, the good news for all those at LWT is that the spitting and finger signs have worked because Cilla's back. (Not that Cilla and football are entirely unconnected--in fact, put your money on Liverpool winning the Premiership title in May, because apparently, since the 1963/64 season, the fortunes of Cilla and Liverpool Football Club have been inexorably linked.) Blind Date steps back in at 7pm. The football goes back to 10.30pm.
But while LWT and its light entertainment culture may rejoice, is it actually good news for advertisers? In the short-term, Saturday ratings will recover because Des, after all, has been pulling in audiences of less than five million. On the other hand, whatever you think about Cilla's particular brand of cheese, it certainly isn't the future. Is it?
Jim Marshall, the chief executive of MediaVest, claims he always thought it was madness putting the football at 7pm. "It's far too early," he insists. "The people with most interest are just getting back from their game. The thinking was that football is the national sport, therefore it will make popular family entertainment. It just doesn't work that way. Football is a minority interest. And there's so much live televised football around that it is in danger of becoming overexposed."
Marshall adds: "Match of the Day as a habit was a strong proposition but as soon as the schedulers moved it from where the BBC had it [at or after 10.30pm], then it became apparent it was a habit you could lose. And it didn't help that the style of coverage attracted criticism."
But what would he replace it with? Is light entertainment really the only answer?. "Why not?" Marshall responds. "ITV needs an entertaining and not-too-demanding schedule." And he's only half-joking when he adds that he's surprised it hasn't wheeled in Who Wants to be a Millionaire?. It is, after all, the network's panacea for all ills.