ADSTARS!(Brief Article)

It was with a heavy heart that Tony Cunnilingus made his way into Walford College at the start of the "back to school" week. Uncle Tone loved his job as the Head of How To Spend Two Years Deluding Yourself That You'll Get A Job In Advertising. This term, however, things were different. Becoming a creative had always been hard but it was definitely a dream worth fighting for. The lucky few who made it were allowed access to all the chicks, were actively encouraged to take drugs wherever and whenever they wanted and got to be revered for being total unmitigated bastards. That's how Tony usually sold it to his boys. Not anymore.

The recession was biting hard and cutbacks were at an all-time high. Even Chris O'Blimey, who had always taken an un-naturally keen interest in the young men under Tony's care, was staying away. In fact, creative directors all over Soho were downsizing and the future looked bleak.

Tony wondered what he was doing. Wasn't he being irresponsible by preparing these young innocents for a life in an industry that was going the way of the mines? Nabs had declared a state of emergency and jobs in advertising would be completely extinct in the very near future -- he gave the business a week, maybe two at best.

Tony tried to curb his panic and stay calm. He found his mind wandering back to the last recession. His ex-boss, Malcolm Schmuck, had made ...