Intentional Forgiveness in Relational Leadership: A Technique for Enhancing Effective Leadership.

Executive Summary

The call for effective leadership echoes throughout our society. Leaders are advised to inspire a vision, empower their followers, and not mistake management for leadership--all in an attempt to build more effective social structures. This focus on effectiveness can lead to a productivity orientation that may in fact undermine the development of organizations. The authors of this article believe that a deepened understanding of effective leadership is built on relationships, and that the quality of relationships reflects the quality of leadership. Relational leadership is introduced as a forum for enhancing effective leadership. The approach is centered on interpersonal relationships. In this article, the authors outline a technique called intentional forgiveness designed to restore meaningful relationships necessary in the context of effective leadership.

Leadership has caught the attention of nearly every sector of contemporary culture. Effective leadership is often considered to be one of the best solutions for many social problems and the call for effective leadership can be heard in a variety of districts of our society (Belasco, 1988). Politicians on the campaign trail criticize their rivals for not having what it takes to lead effectively. Consultants are routinely employed by executives in the business world to make their leadership strategies more effective (Howe, 1992). Parents and teachers who want change, reform, and improvement desperately seek effective leadership for our education system. As our world grows more interconnected and complex, effective leadership may become a holding environment for increased meaning and relational connection, serving to enhance organizational confidence and reduce chaos to manageable levels (Bennis, 1992).

Yet establishing effective leadership is often more difficult than one might think. First, the "what is leadership?" question arises. Second, the issue of "how to have effective leadership" must be settled. In this article, we suggest that relational leadership is one form of effective leadership. Relational leadership centers around person-to-person relationships (Bowen, 1978). One of the significant components of all relationships is how conflict is handled (Gudykunst, 1994). We take the stance that conflict is not an inherently negative phenomenon; rather, it is a necessary component of all relational systems, and it can be handled positively.

In this article, we first discuss the history of leadership theory. We focus on relational leadership as one forum of leadership that drives deeper relational and organizational understanding. Moving to the issue of how effective leadership can be obtained, we explore how interpersonal forgiveness offers an innovative avenue for reconciling differences that often offset the efforts of effective leadership. We introduce a technique called intentional forgiveness. This technique gives specific guidelines for interpersonal reconciliation and is rooted in counseling psychology, a branch of psychology often focusing on the quality and depth of relationships between people. In this article we illustrate how this technique compliments the basic ideas of relational leadership and can enable the development of more effective leadership dynamics.

Intentional forgiveness was originally designed as an intervention in individual, marriage and family counseling (Ferch, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001). The technique is framed as a deliberate action in which an injured party is encouraged to face both the emotional injury and the offending party, releasing the perceived need for revenge and retribution. This process is firmly rooted not in the adage of "forgive and forget," but in the progressive notion of "forgive and remember," serving to deepen the integrity of the organizational experience.

Discussion of What Leadership Is