The Biggest Communication Mistakes Women Make.

Learning to censor your sappy impulses can mean the difference between securing your bond...and scaring him away. Here's how to steer clear of common love-speak sins.

* When the lawyer she'd been dating for a month stopped returning her phone calls, Madeline [*], 27, was confused. It wasn't until later that she learned her constant check-ins were the culprit. "My friend and I touch base every few hours," she says, "so I did the same with Doug. I'd leave him a voicemail message before he got to work, call midmorning, then check in after lunch. He started letting his machine pick up, and when I confronted him, he said I was too clingy and that he wanted out."

Ring any bells? Madeline's mistake is a common female faux pas. "Women tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves, while guys stick to die less-is-more school of sharing--especially early in a relationship," explains James Douglas Barron, author of She Wants a Ring--and I Don't Want to Change a Thing. This leads to a variety of snafus--from calling too much to saying "I love you" too soon. "While a woman may just be trying to connect, it might make a guy think, She's invading my space, which compels him to pull away," says Barron.

Cosmo spills tips for avoiding these early-romance communication errors so you can cruise through touchy-feely moments with your new man.

* communication crime

Spilling Your Guts Too Soon

Think that filling him in on your parents' divorce or venting about your abusive boss will bring you closer? Think again. "On my first date with Judy," recalls Bill, 29, "she ran through every detail about the jobs she's had, the guys she's dated, and the hairstyles she's worn since college. I did not know her well enough to care about her tedious stories." Bill's experience points to a key difference between the sexes: "Many women share deep feelings and details in an effort to bond," says Jon Hess, Ph.D., assistant professor of communication at the University of Missouri at Columbia. "But men want to connect through common interests--anything more intense early on may scare them away."