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DILEMMA DO-OVER.(Brief Article)

Cosmopolitan

| July 01, 2001 | COPYRIGHT 2001 Hearst Communications, reprinted with permission of Hearst. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

Here's how Casino's Agony columnist, Irma Kurtz, would solve these onscreen sitches.

CARRIE'S CONUNDRUM

My married ex wants to romp, and I can't resist. What's behind my self-destructive behavior?

Self-destructive? Nuh-uh. The one you want to destroy is him. You are using his weakness for you as a weapon to keep him from settling into wedded bliss--and to get even. By giving in, you are only tarnishing your own inner beauty.

MIRANDA'S MESS

I'm a career girl ready to buy an apartment. Will this signal to guys that I'm too independent to settle down with?

A woman's independence only scares off boys; should you meet the man for you, he'll be fine with your autonomy. The secret: Pick lovers who are grown-ups themselves.

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