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Even a good bud can have a poisonous quality: a cheap streak, a barbed-wire tongue....These tips will protect you from being forced to banish her from your crowd.
* We hate to break it to you, but some of your friends may be hazardous to your health. Of course, they don't mean any harm, but as you've no doubt noticed, many people have dangerous personality glitches that can pick away at your peace of mind. There's the perpetually jealous pal who jabs you with subtly snarky putdowns, the drama queen who seems to think of you as her 24-hour crisis hot line, even the overly nice sidekick--the one who lends you her new designer shoes, tapes your favorite TV shows, and practically begs you to take advantage of her--can make you feel, well, kind of icky.
All in all, chums like these can trigger thoughts that perhaps you should sequester yourself from social outings. But don't delete those names and numbers from your Palm V. "Friends often fall into destructive patterns, but by changing the way you deal with them, you can avoid those annoying behaviors," says Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends: How Your Friends Can Make or Break Your Health, Happiness, Family, and Career (William Morrow, 1999). Here, we'll help you spot your pals most vexing points, then show you how to nullify their toxic effects so you can enjoy hanging with them again.
BAD-NEWS BUD 1
Ms. Mooch
Her hazardous stats: If there's a tab to be covered or a lift to be bummed, you're there for her. But you're starting to wonder if you're a friend...or just the free ride.
Friendship fix-it: The reason this greedy gal helps herself to your possessions is because you let her. So to avoid forking over the goods without feeling guilty, answer her requests for your material things with "I can't...." If, for example, she hits you up for 20 bucks or your favorite new leather miniskirt, say "I can't; I'm saving that cash to pay for gas" or "I can't; I'm planning to wear that this weekend." This suggests that you would help her out if you could and reassures her that you're still close compadres--without the high price tag.
Source: HighBeam Research, How to Fix a Faulty Friend.